Breaking Down a Killer ‘Accidental’ Marketing Email

From the desk of Roy Furr, Sunday, 10:25 am

As a player in the local adult hockey league, I occasionally get emails from the league coordinator. And a recent email he sent was accidentally one of the best marketing emails I’ve seen in a long time. I got his permission, and I’m going to break down why I think this is such a powerful marketing email for you right here (using Gary Bencivenga’s “Problem, Promise, Proof, Proposition” Persuasion Equation).

First, the email itself:

Subject: How drop-in helps your game!

Players,

A glance at the 1st weeks stats shows 7 of the top 10 scorers are regular drop-in attendees! Getting sharp on your skills on Thursdays turns into goals and assists on Sundays and Mondays!

Tomorrow is our next drop-in at 9pm-10:15pm. Should have two goalies and lots of skaters, come join us regulars and get your game revved up!

jon

Now here’s why I think this is such a powerful email.

First, let’s look at the internal motivation and emotional state of people who get this email. For most of us, our pride is on the line when we play. We want to win, because we’ll feel good about ourselves. We don’t want to lose, because we’ll feel crummy. And we know the more goals we score, the more likely we are to win.

So here’s where it gets interesting. Proof.

Proof is the hidden factor in the world’s most successful marketing.

I say hidden because most people skim right over it, even as it builds the credibility of the marketer in the reader’s mind.

Plus it’s hidden because most marketers don’t know to include it. And when they do know, they’d rather make a stronger promise than do the legwork required to dig up proof showing they can live up to their promises.

That’s why so much of the marketing you see is stuffed to the brim with promise after promise, with little proof backing it up.

It’s not the number of exclamation points!!! Or ALL CAPS… It’s the overwhelming number of promises — coupled with a proof vacuum — that make most advertising look like empty hype.

But one good solid proof element, coupled with one strong core promise, and your advertisement packs a wallop.

So where’s the proof in this email?

It’s in the first line: “A glance at the 1st weeks stats shows 7 of the top 10 scorers are regular drop-in attendees!”

You can deduce the connection there but let me put this in perspective. There are 6 teams, with 10 possible goal scorers on each team. That’s 60 players. Each week’s drop-in can have up to 20 skaters. So 33% of the league — max — can be a regular drop-in attendee. The real stat is probably closer to 15%. But they made up 70% of the top 10 scorers.

The point is driven home with the next sentence: “Getting sharp on your skills on Thursdays turns into goals and assists on Sundays and Mondays!” That reinforces the proof element, plus contains a promise that if you come to drop-in hockey, your games (played Sunday and Monday) will benefit for it.

But… Let’s not forget the pulling power of a strong promise.

Which takes me back to the subject line: “How drop-in helps your game!” That simple “How to” headline set up the promise for the entire email — which was paid off as soon as you opened the email. (A good way to break through the clutter and ensure your marketing gets read is to make it valuable and telegraph the value in the headline — or subject line, in the case of an email.)

There’s an implied problem that your game is never as good as it could be (an absolute guarantee up to the highest level of sports). The promise is that coming to drop-in will help you play better. The proof is that 7 of the top 10 scorers come to drop-in regularly.

And finally, what’s the proposition?

The proposition of this marketing message is that you should come to drop-in tomorrow from 9pm to 10:15pm. The people getting this email know where it’s at, and that it costs $10 to come. All they need is a reminder that it’s happening, and many will go.

And for a final push

You never know with drop-in if there will be enough players and goalies to give you a real-game scenario. So this email concludes ensuring that there will be enough goalies to play, plus enough players that you won’t be stuck on the ice until you’re dog-tired. And it reinforces the promise. All in a single sentence: “Should have two goalies and lots of skaters, come join us regulars and get your game revved up!”

This email is also a great example of how short copy can pack a punch, as long as it hits all the points of a good marketing message. If your market knows you, and the basics of your offer, sometimes all it takes is a little push to get them over the edge.

Which is exactly what this did — because I know that drop-in session after this email was full!

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